It’s hard to realize how much we are affected by our actions in past lives until we contact them in auditing and run them.
Here is an example from my life. In my case, I was bound and determined to join the Sea Org until I completed a project prepare security check and got a result that I never expected.
I had experienced great wins in my auditing and had attested to Clear and it seemed quite logical to join the group that was charged with getting in ethics on the planet. I knew quite well the power of applying ethics conditions to my life and I thought that doing this on the largest scale possible would be the right thing to do.
I had no idea that I was totally out-qual as a divorced father with alimony and child support commitments because my recruiter had assured me that I would get weekends off to see my children and so forth.
After I signed up, I was given a project prepare that included getting a security check at my own expense. I had no idea what a sec check was but I didn’t care because I always got case gain when I was on the cans so I was looking forward to this sec check.
It didn’t faze me a bit when the auditor said “I am not auditing you” because the session format and procedure was exactly like a regular session.
I got lots and lots of questions about Ron Hubbard and all sorts of Church related subjects and I cheerfully answered every one to the puzzlement of the auditor because he put in buttons I had never heard of before to see if he had missed anything. Eventually, he got to asking if I had any earlier overts on the church or Hubbard and that’s when the fun began.
I had spent many lifetimes burning churches, defiling shrines, and dispatching ministers and holy men in various unsavory ways. You might say we uncovered a long history of grudges against religious groups and religious leaders.
In Puritan times I got quite upset at a minister who objected to my affair with his wife and I arranged for him to die mysteriously from an Indian arrow. About that point I realized that I had been a complete scoundrel for a great many lifetimes.
We finally ran out my overts on religions of all sorts and ministers of all sorts and I attested to completion of the Security Check. I was calm and shining for weeks afterwards.
When I was contacted by my Sea Org recruiter to confirm my arrival, to my surprise I found myself saying immediately, “I am not going to join the Sea Org. I have other things to do with my life.”
I realized that the sec check had blown a long term compulsion to make amends which I had been dramatizing for this lifetime and many before. Once that blew, I could look at any career opportunity and any relationship with new eyes.
It opened up new vistas and increased my determination to become a highly trained auditor. It also gave me a healthy respect for the power of the reactive mind to enforce behavior in this lifetime.
Much later I realized this action had pulled me out of the tone level of “making amends”. I was on my way to becoming “dangerous to my environment” and life was really beginning to become interesting.