My Scientology auditing changed my life in so many ways that it would take months to exhaust the subject, but the most profound discovery for me was learning through direct observation that I had been around for a very long time and had committed every one of the acts that are frowned upon in polite society and many more that haven’t been thought of yet.
This startling discovery came after reliving scores of incidents as an “innocent victim of oppression” complete with all of the usual pains and sufferings. I will describe the “victim” incidents first as they are generally the first to surface.
It was remarkably easy to contact those times when I was the victim of cruel and unusual treatment and this auditing usually provided relief from present time incidents with similar circumstances. The “innocent victim” incidents can come up in Book One auditing and they may even uncover past lives. When these incidents are run, the preclear experiences great relief even though they may be surprised at the content of the incident.
However, it was when I started discovering what I had done to others that my ability to face life really improved. When I discovered that my destructive and unworthy actions began long before this lifetime, I experienced relief of a different kind. I lost the feeling of being guilty and having to be “careful” all of the time.
When I discovered that I had been a fair approximation of Vlad the Impaler for several lifetimes, life got much less serious. I began to see how seriousness and extreme dedication to justice had warped my perspective to where “the ends justify the means” became my operating basis for a long time.
An auditor working under the Auditor’s Code makes it quite safe to look at things that have been carefully suppressed so they would never be seen again.
We seem to be good beings at heart so it is quite difficult to see those things which are so very contrary to the way we see ourselves this lifetime. Then when we finally uncover what we have done and hidden from view, our lives open up and we stop being compulsively “good” and are far less judgmental.
These destructive acts seem to open up slowly like a difficult puzzle and a good auditor is absolutely essential. When you fish up something all disgusting and hairy, the last thing you need is to have an auditor flinch or go “eeeeuw!” mentally. Even worse is the auditor who goes solid when you get off an overt that offends his or her moral code.
A well-trained auditor with standard TRs will listen to your origination so that you know he duplicates all that you have said and what it means and will simply acknowledge you. If this does not let you end cycle on this incident, he will give you the next auditing command until everything blows and you experience permanent relief concerning this area.
What was most interesting to me was the fact that I soon had no attention on my folders and what was in them. They could all be published broadly as far as I was concerned. I was done with the past and was concentrating on creating a viable future.